Snowy Cozy Days

After a whole winter of almost no snow whatsoever (for Wisconsin anyway) this spring has finally brought our expected snow globe white out snow fall! This past weekend we got just a ton of snow, it was breathtakingly beautiful! It was just like the movies, where someone goes to bed to the snow falling down, then wakes up in the morning to find everything covered in a think, shimmery blanket of white. It was just lovely!

So, it wasn't until March that I got to take the kids out in a sled! So I was very excited about that. :) I wanted to spend more time taking pictures, but that was impossible because my poor children's little legs couldn't make it through the drifts and they kept face planting into the snow. It was adorable, actually. :) Every Midwestern child needs lots of memories of face planting in the snow. :)

I just love the "powdered sugar effect" It looks like their playing in piles of sugar! That's the way I see it. anyway :)

After being out for only about 25- 30 minutes we came back into our nice cozy home. We cleaned up before starting some crafts. Look at Elle Bell handling the vacuum like a pro!

I am always on the lookout for things to do with the kids to help us all pass the time with something other than cleaning and watching tv during the day. Building block towers with mega blocks still remains their favorite thing to do, but on our snowy day we had fun with construction paper!

It was a great snowy day craft. We made everything out of paper (Ha! Come to think of it, everything but paper snowflakes :) I cut out animals for them to play with, they colored on the paper, we practiced writing out all of our names, they picked out colors and I made them paper crowns and we made paper chains. The whole package of paper cost only $1.00 and I bet we didn't even use half! It kept us all busy for a good 2 hours (add an extra 15 minutes for me and cleanup ;)

Yummmy Red Bull :)

It was just a great day. It's hard not feel in auto pilot 24/7 and just go through the motions as the hours in a day just pass by. Winters here in Wisconsin have always been a struggle for me, but being a stay at home mom with 2 little people can just be hard. I think it's that way for a lot of people who lives here though. You just have to really make sure to plan things to do so you don't get to caught up in having nothing to do!

Well, it was just about 70* here just a few days after the snowy day. I love the snow... but we are so ready for warmer days! Here comes Spring!

"Every woman would love to replace a life of survival with a life of meaningful accomplishment."

-- Elizabeth George

Wow.. isn't that a true statement! I know that's how I often feel. There often seems to be so much going on and so much to do that I sometimes seem like I am doing nothing but running in circles all day. Then on the flip side, everyday can seem so alike and my time here at home seem so meaningless because I have nothing to show for it. Of course there are my children to take care of and train up in a Godly manner, but my mind is wired in a very fleshy way and I often find myself looking to see what "accomplishments" I can claim as my own. We live in a very worldly world where what you do is more important than who you are or who you serve. I have pursued so many different paid work at home opportunities and looked for ways to fill my time at home because I want my time to be filled with "worthwhile" activities. Of course I'm a stay at home mom and homemaker, but there has to be more, right? I mean, if someone asks you what you do, just replying "Oh, Im a stay at home mom" sounds so overly simplistic. Too easy. Almost, lazy even. But, is it? Is that what God says?

I was busy trying to clean our room the other day and became frustrated with the whole process. I asked the Lord, "Lord, more dirty laundry?!? How am I ever going to keep up with all of this? Why can I never stay organized enough to not accumulate so many piles of stinkin paper everywhere and why am I cleaning the same thing everyday?! I just can't seem to keep anything clean for more than an hour or a day? What's wrong with me? It's not that I'm lazy or un motivated, I just truly can't seem to keep my house tidy for very long. Please Lord, if there's something I'm missing, show me what it is! If there is something I'm doing wrong, show me another, better way to do it! It's house cleaning for crying out loud! Not rocket science!"

This has been my prayer (or one very similar to it) for the past few weeks. Now, in the last few days, weeks and months He has been showing me some things!

Lesson 1: Be in the world, not of it!

Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is--His good, pleasing and perfect will.

Romans 12:2

Although I am very secure and comfortable fulfilling me call as a stay at wife and mom, I have a tenancy to be very "success" oriented. When people ask me what I do, I love rattling off a long laundry list of items that include so much more then just laundry! There's my photography business, my numerous little online writing jobs, there's all the different etsy shops I plan on opening, many different online work at home jobs that I have pursued at any given time, ect..... I like to have things to "show" that I can make good use of my time being at home. My thinking has been that I will not be one of those moms that just stays home and cleans or sits around everyday!

So, are those thoughts God given thoughts, or are they a result of my carnal self trying to bring glory to myself? Is being a good stay at home mom requiring me to "just clean" all day anyway? (Although having 2 under 2 it often seems that way!)

I feel like God has been showing me that being the sunny, joyful and encouraging wife to my husband, the patient and kind mom to my little children and keeping my home is more than enough for one person to master. I shouldn't feel even the slightest shame replaying "I'm a stay at home mom" to anyone. Because being a stay at home wife and mom will have more than enough jobs in itself to master! Of course, God has blessed me with opportunities such as my photography business, which I completely enjoy and am so thankful for, but that is just additional. It's not a part of my "official" job description.

So, one of the main things He has been teaching me:

Get over seeing myself in the world's light and what the world would see has not only successful and what the world sees at "a good use of time."

He had to teach me this through and through before the next lesson.

Lesson 2: No one is perfect!

For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.

Romans 3:23

I like to kick myself when I'm down. Has the laundry been in piles for days and am I once again frantically searching for envelopes and the address for the electric company? Well then, I guess I am a horrible home maker and a failure at things organization. Did I forget to take something into account when balancing the checkbook or over spend on the budget for that week? Well then, I might as well let hubby take care of all the finances because apparently I can't.

Hhmmm... what kind of thinking is that? I have unrealistic expectations of myself and when I don't live up to those expectations, I get so down on myself that I end up more down and even less encouraged. But you know what? NO ONE is perfect and that probably means that nothing we do is perfect. Were only human. Not only does God know this, but He created us like this! Why? Because our weakness is perfected by Him! When we are having a hard time with something or struggling trying to fix it ourselves, no true help will come to us without Christ's hand in our lives.

For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God - not by works, so that no one can boast.

Ephesians 2:8-9

God purposely made us imperfect so that not only can we learn to lean on Him for help and support, but also so that when something does go right, we can give all the glory for that right thing to God. God is the only way anything in our life can go right and all the glory is due Him!

Lesson: 3 Homemaking is a learned profession that takes many, many years to learn and master.

Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live... to teach what is good Then they can urge the younger women to..... be busy at home (also translated as " to do work in their home" "manage their households" "homemakers" ......

Titus 2:3-5

Just like no one can expect to become a specialized surgeon after one human anatomy class, not one keeper at home should expect her home and all her household affairs will be perfected with the surgeon like precision a master would have without many years of training. Even after years and years of running a household, there will always be something new to learn.

I have had my own household for just over 3 years now. Of course I don't have it all together! I never really will, but I know as the years go by and I learn from those woman who are older and wiser than I, that the state of my household will continue to improve.

The outcome of these new lessons:

I feel that the Lord is leading me to stop pursuing so many different pursuits. Maybe I have just a few to many "irons in the fire" and I need start weeding out a little better what I'm being called to do and what I'm doing to fill up time that I don't really have in the first place.

Aside from my photography business (an opportunity that I truly believe God has His hand in right now) I'm going to start trying to learn how to run my household better. And what does running a household entail? Here is a list:

First, to serve my husband and children. I want to be their rock. No matter what goes on in the world and happens in the course of their daily lives, I want to be the smiling, encouraging , loving, pillar of strength that loves them. When they think of home, I want them to think of me.

She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: “Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.”

Proverbs 31:27-29

Now, everything else in no particular order:

Menu planning

Nutrition and meal preparation

Cooking

Baking

Cleaning (not picking up, but how to actually clean things)

Financial planning

Weekly lists and week by week planning

Organizing

How to make my home a beautiful, peaceful and restful haven.

i.e....

Decorating

Thrifting

Creating

Crafting

Sewing

There are more than enough things of interest to pursue to help fulfill my job of running a household. Most of these things have to be done by everyone to some extent, but what an honour to have the opportunity to become a master of these skills and provide our family with a beautiful and smooth running household! I realize of course that God has different callings for different people, and just because I am called to be a stay at home mom doesn't mean that I think that's what every person who has a husband or children should do, but it's what I am called to do. So I will do it with all my might!

Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might

Ecclesiastes 9:10

Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men

Colossians 3:23

In closing, let me share an encouraging quote from Elizabeth George:

"When we get up every morning with a fresh prayer for our home in our heart, and a burning passion for building our home in our soul, when we acknowledge the priority, and pledge to better the lives of the people at home by bettering the place of home, and then practice the many tasks that such love requires, in time we master the skills of homemaking.

Share the Savings, Share the Love!

So, I went to Walgreens last Friday.... found some amaaaaaazing deals!!!! Yessssss! This time I purchased a total of $53.00 dollars worth of stuff an only paid $3.45! I'm staring to get the hang of this whole couponing thing ;)



Of course, I didn't figure all this out on my own. Not only are there numerous online forums and websites that will help teach you ( http://thekrazycouponlady.com/, http://www.couponmom.com/ are my 2 favorites ) but also when my mom finds a good deal she tells me and even store employees help! I wrote about Tara the other day from Walgreens. Man, she is awesome!!!!! Her knowledge is astounding of not only how to use the coupons, but how to split up transactions and what different in store coupons can be stacked.

I recently popped in the other day and we got to talk'in and I asked how she learned so much about all this. She said it started years ago when her son was in diapers and she realized just how expensive it is. She started not just using a coupon here and there, but learned how to use multiple coupons for diapers. Of course, after she started saving money on diapers she picked up how to use coupons like that for other things. Couple that with working at Walgreen's, she's like an encyclopedia!

In fact, Tara told me that's one of the things she likes most about her job, being able to share what she has learned with people and continually learning from customers as well! Seeing her regulars come in always brings a smile to her face. :) Of course, with all the happy couponers coming in there, there is bound to be a nut or 2. There is one person she said who will often come through and want to do up to 30 transactions at a time! ----Yikes! Thankfully, people like that are the minority :)







So, yeah. Tara is awesome. She has fun, enjoys her job and loves her co workers. If you're ever in the area and want some advice about coupons or just want to visit the most awesome Walgreen's EVER, stop in at Saukville!

Saving so much is so intoxicating! It's nice getting the good brands, buying the super nice disposable razors instead of selling out and buying the cheapos and generally buying things I maybe wouldn't if I didn't get as a good of a deal as I have been. And, at Walgreens, since often you need a "filler" item, it gives me a good excuse to buy something extra and have it save me even more money!

Walgreen's is quickly becoming one of my favorite stores...even giving Costco a run for the money! Haha, wow, I am lame... but you know what? That's ok! Because if I insist on only being amused and excited by what is generally considered exciting, then my life would be pretty boring. :) No offense to my little sweet hearts :)

Yeah for Spring! Boo for Cold :P

Arg. It’s still winter. Well, it feels like it anyway! It’s early April and there is still snow on the ground, that’s just depressing. Maybe it would not be so bad if the kids were just a bit older, but it’s hard to take babies out in the freezing cold, so we have been cooped up inside waiting for the spring. Spring, please come!

Oh well, it will be here and I hate complaining. Anyway, a few days ago the girls and I were going stir crazy, it was driving us mad being inside. Well, Ellie still is at the age where she doesn’t mind, but poor Didi! Every morning almost the first thing she asks is “We go bye bye?” So I finally said yes! We will go bye bye!







I have been wanting to take them to a great park we have here in Port Washington called “possibility playground” Diana went a little last year but she was too young to really “get” the whole playground thing.
So, that’s where we went!






It wasn’t exactly the best day for a park, but there really hasn’t been a good day since lest year, so we bundled up and went out anyway! It was 8:30am, had just finished raining and maybe 45*. We were the only ones there, go figure. :) We were there almost a half hour. Ellie was all bundled up all nice and cozy in the stroller and I pretty much let Diana run till she was so red and flushed that we had to go. I also forgot her gloves, so I didn’t want her out to long.




It was Diana’s first time on a tire swing, she loved it! Im surprised she stayed on it so long, that metal chain was freezing, poor little toddler fingers! I think she would have stayed on it all day if I let her, but I felt horrible about her hands not being warm. Plus, I wanted her to just run back and forth as much as possible hoping it would entice her to take a nap later in the day. That plan worked. Neither her or Ellie are used to being outside, so even just a little time helped them both take really great long naps. Praise the Lord!

Sweet Tender Childhood

Last night was one of the sweetest nights with my babies! It all started with a not so sweet evening though.
After dinner both Diana and Ellie started just getting totally fussy and difficult. Hubby and I could not figure out what was wrong with them… we came to the conclusion it was just end of the day crankies. Anyway, after we had put them to bed we went to bed ourselves. Hubby fell asleep pretty quick but I was up for awhile (just reading and doing some chores) and both babies were still up at this time, which is odd because normally they are pretty good about bedtime.

So I went into the nursery to check on them to see if there was anything wrong. Nope, everything looked good! So, I gave them both a kiss and walked out. But boy, did that make them both mad! After hearing them both scream / cry for awhile I went back to see what I could do. Didi was on the urge of sleeping but Ellie was getting more and more upset by the second! So I got her up and took her to the living room. Clean diaper, she wouldn’t nurse, she didn’t need burped, and nothing else seemed to make her feel better. Finally, I just decided she needed some loving.

I swaddled her up super tight, turned off all the lights and turned off everything that made noise. I held her super close to me and just gently whispered how much mommy, daddy, and Jesus love her. She calmed down ever so slowly, finally falling asleep in my arms. It was so sweet and just melted my heart. I just held her for a little while examining every little perfect feature before taking her back to the nursery and putting her into the crib. I set her down then saw Diana in her crib holding her bunny rabbit just staring at me.

“Do you want some cuddle time too Didi?” I asked while I walked over to her. I though she would totally resist me when I tried to pick her up, but to my surprise not only did she let me pick her up, she melted right into my arms! She almost NEVER likes to cuddle. But this time she just let me hold her! I was so happy! She laid there with her head just gently resting on my shoulder. I just stroked her hair and prayed with her. I thanked God for my beautiful little family and thought about how much I love them. I gently swayed back and forth while holding Diana and she too, just fell asleep in my arms. I gently lay her back down and said another prayer of thanks before going back to bed myself. I am so blessed!!!!

Babies just need extra cuddle time sometimes!!! They seemed so overly tired. I guess it kinda surprised me. I’m always afraid I’m not spending enough time with them and giving them each enough attention. I also have a tendency to think that just because we are not out “doing things” and not going out on play dates all the time that they get bored at home. I spend so much time trying to teach things and play with Diana and hold and play with Ellie that I forget about quite time sometimes. I mean, we do have quite time and naptime of course. But just about every minute they are up I feel guilty that my attention is divided so I try to give extra, EXTRA attention almost every chance I get. Last night just kind of let me know that just because we are not out all the time and that even though my attention is divided, doesn’t mean that there isn’t enough going on. I can take a break every once in a while from “learning” and “playing” time and just relax a bit. Just because we’re at home the majority of the time doesn’t mean were not doing enough. The day doesn’t always need to be filled with “learning.” Some days you just need to cuddle and hold your babies. Just As long as they are fed and clean sometimes the only other thing they need is plenty of hugs and cuddles!

Perspectives (rambelings about my current life)

Well, I think after 23 years on this earth I am starting to learn a little bit about putting things into perspective. I tend to sometimes get caught up in the moment, which is not always a bad thing, but with living in only the moment it can be hard to see past the things you are going through at that moment.

I know that my children will all end up growing up and I also know that here in a few years it will get to the point where I will be so busy all the time that I will wonder why I didn't make better use of all my quite time at home when I just had one quite baby here.

Now, I love to journal and write, I have kept a journal ever since I was 9. I love to record what goes on and look back to see how things (including myself) have changed. When I go through some of my journals that I kept when I was young, there are some pages ripped out and entry's that have been scribbled out. I would sometimes write about a struggle that I had or something that I was upset about and feel better after getting it off my chest, but then would be ashamed of how I felt or how stupid I was being and rip out the entry. When I look back at those empty sections I'm sorry that I tore them out. It was a part of my life, a personal struggle, and I got past it or over it. The fact that I went through it means I have been growing and there is nothing wrong with that!

After writing my blog entry on here ( This one) I almost took it off because after I reread it I was embarrassed about it. But, I have decided not too! Although it's normally just my family that gets on here to see pictures of the cutest baby ever, there are other random people who end up on these pages. I want any other mom who is going through what I am going through to know that this is normal and OK! And at it's worst, it's just a season and you have to look at things in perspective, not just that moment or even the moments that you will be going through tomorrow, or later that week.

So, after much thought, talking to others, and most of all time with my bible and in prayer, I feel so much more uplifted! I know I still will get lonely and have those feelings, but I truly do have the best job in the world and the best husband to help me.

Oh, and as a side note I spent hours yesterday reading over my old journals and notebooks. I saw that there were more days than I remember when I hated being so busy! There were days at work that customers would yell and scream at me and I would not see eye to eye with my bosses, those days or sometimes that week I would want to quite so bad! I loved my job because of all the people I got to talk too and help ( I was the only known girl at walmart who loved working from Thanksgiving to Christmas) and most all the bosses were awesome and got along great with me. But sometime I would have just given anything to get away, and sometimes I did!
I would just call into work sick and take the day off! But of course, this was not the norm.

I love learning and going to school was a great experience for me. I loved engaging teachers in conversation, being involved in lots of activities, and all that awesome college stuff. But of course there were the days where the tests were too hard, the professors weren't understanding, and the other girls could be so cruel. I would cry and just wanted to quit. Sometimes, I did play hooky or not go to meetings, but this was also not the norm.

I am now in a completely different period of my life and still trying to learn about being the wife and mom that God created me to be. There are days when I feel like running away, but I can't :) But there are other ways of dealing with things, like sharing more with my husband just how hard it can be, or seeking Christ and praying for help instead of thinking my problems are too small. I truly love my life and would not trade it for anyone elses!


As a ending note, since my baby is always so Happy to see me in the mornings, I made sure to have my camera on my phone ready went I went to go wake my daughter from her nap the other day. She smiled so big when I came to get her! Doesn't she have the cutest morning look?! Everything is going to be OK.

Although always there, the sun does not always shine

Being a stay at home mom is the best job in the world, I love being here for my Baby ( also soon baby to be!) and my husband. But I have decided that this is also the hardest job in the world; mostly do to the fact that there is no break, no quitting time, no vacation. You're always "on call" morning, noon, and night.

For the most part I really do love being here, but it can wear you down. I really do try to always look at the bright side but sometimes perfect hubby is grumpy, cute baby wont stop screaming, and the dog takes a crap on the floor. There are tons of dishes piled in the sink, papers all awry, and many bills that need to be paid. Sometimes, (like today and yesterday) I just want to run away and be alone for a little while. But I just settle for putting the baby in the crib, ignoring the housework, and sit in the bathroom and cry.

Being a stay at home mom can be so lonely... being inside these four apartment walls morning, noon, and night. It's amazing that I often go 8-10 hours talking to no one but the dog and baby. Which not only makes me feel totally socially deprived and isolated, but I'm sure you can only imagine the great conversation that makes for when hubby gets home.

Im such a dork... I look forward to going to the food store so I can "Do things outside of the house" For the most part I don't mind making phone calls to bill collectors "because that will provide me with all the more ADULTS to talk too" and when hubby gets home I'm often so desperate for conversation I'll want him to tell me the details of the ride home or people's conversations at work. It makes me feel so pathetic. It really does.

The past two days have been horrible. Baby has been upset and fussy, the dog has crapped twice on the floor, I feel so sick, and have absolutely no motivation to clean. (which has resulted in days worth of laundry, dishes, and cleaning for me to do) The loneliness has really gotten to me and hubby does not understand because he says that it's his dream to not have to talk to annoying people all day. I get upset that he doesn't understand and end up being a pissy wife, which make me feel like a worse person. Oh yeah, and Im already gaining weight in this pregnancy because Im always hungry and I feel fat and ugly. Oh yeah, and I ran out of formula and it will be a couple of hours before hubby gets home so I asked people on Yahoo Answers for opinions on what to give her to drink, (other than the baby food I will be feeding her) and a bunch of people told me I was a negligent mother and made me cry.

Anyway, although the days are usually sunny, some days being at home all day are harder than others. Normally I can find ways to pass the time, but sometimes although I know it's there, the sun just does not shine.