Not that there's anything specific about today or this morning compared to other mornings, but just the fact that it is morning makes my heart glad! I wasn't so glad on first waking up. Every inch of my body felt exhausted and I wanted to stay under the warm covers. The room was so cold and wrapped up in my little cocoon of snuggly warmth the last thing I was thankful for was the fact that it was time to get up!
But I got up, stumbled around a bit as I made hubby a lunch, and took out the dogs. After he left I sat there in the kitchen sipping my mug of hot water ( did I mention I lost my voice?!) staring blankly at the floor while thoughts of the upcoming day came rushing in before I even had a chance to feel awake.
Kids, attitude issues, school, teaching, today's obligations, tomorrows obligations, what am I making for dinner, will I have time to stop for gas this morning, will my voice return so I don't sound like an ogre at today's MOPS meeting... Everything came flooding through at once before I even had all the sleep out of my eyes!
This happens to me often. It doesn't seem to matter whether I wake up early or later, but upon waking my mind goes from groggy to fast forward in the split of second. I have two options then: have my coffee and get going with my day and start on my list of things, or take time to spend one on one time meditating on God's word and seeking His face in the quite.
Seeking Christ is what my soul longs to do! I want to feel His peace and His presence and His calm in my life. But that requires my time, which is so hard to hand over to Him. It's not for a lack of trying though! I sit in the quite, knees bent and eyes closed to come forward to Him with prayer, and if I'm not falling asleep I'm trying to block the running list of things going through my head. Waiting still before the Lord is most definitely a learned attribute! And it amazes me after 15 years of morning prayer time I still struggle with waiting quietly and patiently before the Lord!
But here I am again, sitting with God's word and my journal, head bent in prayer, trying to hear Him and block out the noise coming within. He reminds me that if I seek Him with all my heart, I will find Him. He accounts for our humanness. He knows our minds wander, that we sometimes feel overwhelmed and don't know where to even start having "quite time" with Him. And I'm remained once again that it's ok!
My heart longs for close communion with Him. He knows this, He built me like this. He built us all like this. He didn't design us like this to make us frustrated once we try to commune with Him and fail. He built us like this so we see how human we are and how much we need Him to fill us up, meet us where were at and pick us up where we let go.
In the midst of my jumbled prayer time I let go. I gave my everything to Him, my short little attention span and loss of words, and just asked Him to guide me. And He did! I opened my bible and read this today:
Give thanks to the Lord, call on His name;
make known among the nations
what He has done.
Sing to Him, sing praise to Him;
tell of all His wonderful acts.
Glory in His holy name; let the hearts of those who seek
the Lord rejoice.
Look to the Lord and His strength;
seek His face always.
1 Chronicles 16: 8 - 11
All a once my frustrated, jumbled bible time melted away. I gave thanks to the Lord for my blessings, a simple prayer of thanks. I love Him and seek him, and sometimes that's enough. There doesn't always need to be a lengthy prayer time, but just a meaningful one where we seek Him and He guides us towards a verse or puts joy and peace in our hearts.
As I seek Him this morning and let go of expectations and struggle with getting my own self under control, I'm reminded by Him once again that I must seek Him and His strength always, in everything, because He can do more in 2 minutes and a few verses than I could ever do in an hour of dedicated, quite time. Being renewed by Him in the mornings, whether it be in 5 minutes or 50, reminds me that I can lean on Him all day to help me with everything. Somehow all the million things I couldn't keep from running through my brain has stopped and is now calm. God's got this and it's all under control, just like He's got me. And you. Or anyone who can pause just long enough this morning to say,
"Good morning Lord! I love you, I need you, I seek you and want to know you. I don't always know where to start or what to do, but that's ok. You do. You know everything and you hold everything. Hold me today Lord. Help me to know you. I love you, I praise you, and I thank you Lord for Your faithfulness. Let my life shine Your light,
So... Good morning dear one! :)