Friday, October 23, 2009

More Dress up!

So here are some pics that I took last weekend. Hubby went into the nursery to get Diana and found one of her cute little dresses :) It was just about too small, so we decided to put her in it so we could gush about how adorable she is in it before it did get to small. Here are some of the pics, notice how she is learning how to stand!

Perspectives (rambelings about my current life)

Well, I think after 23 years on this earth I am starting to learn a little bit about putting things into perspective. I tend to sometimes get caught up in the moment, which is not always a bad thing, but with living in only the moment it can be hard to see past the things you are going through at that moment.

I know that my children will all end up growing up and I also know that here in a few years it will get to the point where I will be so busy all the time that I will wonder why I didn't make better use of all my quite time at home when I just had one quite baby here.

Now, I love to journal and write, I have kept a journal ever since I was 9. I love to record what goes on and look back to see how things (including myself) have changed. When I go through some of my journals that I kept when I was young, there are some pages ripped out and entry's that have been scribbled out. I would sometimes write about a struggle that I had or something that I was upset about and feel better after getting it off my chest, but then would be ashamed of how I felt or how stupid I was being and rip out the entry. When I look back at those empty sections I'm sorry that I tore them out. It was a part of my life, a personal struggle, and I got past it or over it. The fact that I went through it means I have been growing and there is nothing wrong with that!

After writing my blog entry on here ( This one) I almost took it off because after I reread it I was embarrassed about it. But, I have decided not too! Although it's normally just my family that gets on here to see pictures of the cutest baby ever, there are other random people who end up on these pages. I want any other mom who is going through what I am going through to know that this is normal and OK! And at it's worst, it's just a season and you have to look at things in perspective, not just that moment or even the moments that you will be going through tomorrow, or later that week.

So, after much thought, talking to others, and most of all time with my bible and in prayer, I feel so much more uplifted! I know I still will get lonely and have those feelings, but I truly do have the best job in the world and the best husband to help me.

Oh, and as a side note I spent hours yesterday reading over my old journals and notebooks. I saw that there were more days than I remember when I hated being so busy! There were days at work that customers would yell and scream at me and I would not see eye to eye with my bosses, those days or sometimes that week I would want to quite so bad! I loved my job because of all the people I got to talk too and help ( I was the only known girl at walmart who loved working from Thanksgiving to Christmas) and most all the bosses were awesome and got along great with me. But sometime I would have just given anything to get away, and sometimes I did!
I would just call into work sick and take the day off! But of course, this was not the norm.

I love learning and going to school was a great experience for me. I loved engaging teachers in conversation, being involved in lots of activities, and all that awesome college stuff. But of course there were the days where the tests were too hard, the professors weren't understanding, and the other girls could be so cruel. I would cry and just wanted to quit. Sometimes, I did play hooky or not go to meetings, but this was also not the norm.

I am now in a completely different period of my life and still trying to learn about being the wife and mom that God created me to be. There are days when I feel like running away, but I can't :) But there are other ways of dealing with things, like sharing more with my husband just how hard it can be, or seeking Christ and praying for help instead of thinking my problems are too small. I truly love my life and would not trade it for anyone elses!

As a ending note, since my baby is always so Happy to see me in the mornings, I made sure to have my camera on my phone ready went I went to go wake my daughter from her nap the other day. She smiled so big when I came to get her! Doesn't she have the cutest morning look?! Everything is going to be OK.

Friday, October 16, 2009

Although always there, the sun does not always shine

Being a stay at home mom is the best job in the world, I love being here for my Baby ( also soon baby to be!) and my husband. But I have decided that this is also the hardest job in the world; mostly do to the fact that there is no break, no quitting time, no vacation. You're always "on call" morning, noon, and night.

For the most part I really do love being here, but it can wear you down. I really do try to always look at the bright side but sometimes perfect hubby is grumpy, cute baby wont stop screaming, and the dog takes a crap on the floor. There are tons of dishes piled in the sink, papers all awry, and many bills that need to be paid. Sometimes, (like today and yesterday) I just want to run away and be alone for a little while. But I just settle for putting the baby in the crib, ignoring the housework, and sit in the bathroom and cry.

Being a stay at home mom can be so lonely... being inside these four apartment walls morning, noon, and night. It's amazing that I often go 8-10 hours talking to no one but the dog and baby. Which not only makes me feel totally socially deprived and isolated, but I'm sure you can only imagine the great conversation that makes for when hubby gets home.

Im such a dork... I look forward to going to the food store so I can "Do things outside of the house" For the most part I don't mind making phone calls to bill collectors "because that will provide me with all the more ADULTS to talk too" and when hubby gets home I'm often so desperate for conversation I'll want him to tell me the details of the ride home or people's conversations at work. It makes me feel so pathetic. It really does.

The past two days have been horrible. Baby has been upset and fussy, the dog has crapped twice on the floor, I feel so sick, and have absolutely no motivation to clean. (which has resulted in days worth of laundry, dishes, and cleaning for me to do) The loneliness has really gotten to me and hubby does not understand because he says that it's his dream to not have to talk to annoying people all day. I get upset that he doesn't understand and end up being a pissy wife, which make me feel like a worse person. Oh yeah, and Im already gaining weight in this pregnancy because Im always hungry and I feel fat and ugly. Oh yeah, and I ran out of formula and it will be a couple of hours before hubby gets home so I asked people on Yahoo Answers for opinions on what to give her to drink, (other than the baby food I will be feeding her) and a bunch of people told me I was a negligent mother and made me cry.

Anyway, although the days are usually sunny, some days being at home all day are harder than others. Normally I can find ways to pass the time, but sometimes although I know it's there, the sun just does not shine.

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

There is no going back after this!

Well, I can't begin to even talk about all the things that we were going to do with Didi but have decided not too, one of those things being to not let her have any candy until she is older and only on holidays! Well, not only have we let her try sweet things, but this past weekend Daniel and I wanted to see what would happen if we gave her a sucker :) We were there watching her the whole time of course, and we only let her have it for just a minute or two, and needless to say she loved it! It's amazing how much of a mess she made within those two quick minutes! So adorable!!!!

Friday, October 9, 2009

Quilting time!

Well, it's sewing time! Of course I am a stay at home mom (SAHM) and love doing crafty things:) And although I don't usually need to rush (I have all day!) sewing everything by hand gets boring quick! Well, for my birthday my MOTHER in law got me a sewing machine!!!!!!!!!!!

Although I got it on Saturday, things have been so crazy here that today was the first day that I was able to spend hours playing with it! As a first craft I decided that I will make little didi a quilt. I actually decided this over a year ago but got agitated at how long it would take me to sew everything so I kinda gave it up. But today I took out the cloth, cut out some squares and started sewing! Here are the pics , more to come later, Hubby is home!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Romantic Date Night!

Well, on Friday dear hubby and I had our first date night alone since Diana was born! We have been trying to plan on one for the past few weeks and finally, it came! My sister Mandy came to watch Didi then spend the night (that way we would not have to worry about staying out to late!)
So, my sister came over and I gave Didi her last feeding at 6:30 then set her down to sleep and by 7:00 my husband and I were off! Of course, OUR normal bedtime is around 7:00 so we were already pretty tired, but we would not let that stop us from enjoying sweet freedom!!! :)

So first stop was filling up on coffee and gas, then off to beautiful Mauthe Lake. Once we got there we walked around the trails in the woods, then barefoot on the beach. Which, both of us agreed is highly overrated! We are very much northern people and not prone to liking sand a lot and it got all over our clothes when we tried to lay on the beach to stargaze, (One of our absolute favorite things to do!) so we then made our way to the grassy little baseball diamond. There are no lights anywhere near, so we layed there to stargaze. But the grass was so wet we could not get comfortable so we decided to make our way to the Jeep.

We took the top off, drove to the little boat dock, parked, turned on some music, and layed there and watched the stars. It was perfect! The sky was absolutely breathtaking and the air was just chilly enough that what had to get all cuddly and cozy to keep warm:)

I thought I was going to be in the mood to talk a lot, but instead felt so perfectly happy to just cuddle and listen to our songs. There were no need for words, I knew he was having just as much of a perfect time as me. I do love my husband! We are alike in all the ways that are good to be alike in a marriage, but still different enough in all the ways that are good for a marriage!

We both started falling asleep and knew that there was a 45min drive back home so decided to go drive around a bit. Again, perfect! We drove with the top down all around the woods, I could feel my nose getting all pink from the cool air and could smell the campfire smoke. Ah! What a perfect smell, and just as I thought that hubby suggested we go camping again soon:)

So with the woods steadily getting farther and farther behind us we made our way back home. I glanced at the clock, 9:05. What?! Only just after 9:00! Hubby seemed to read my thoughts. "Let's go get some more coffee then stop by the Elrun park by home. We can sit by the river and talk but still not to have far to drive when we go home. It's so early yet!" "Perfect!" I said.
I mean I was pretty tired, but we have waited so long for our date night! I didnt want it to end so soon.

But as we got near home I looked and saw in hubby's eyes that he looked just as, if not more tired than I. And I was trying not to fall asleep! "You know what hun, tonight has been perfect, lets just go home." "But it's our date night! We have been looking forward to this for so long!" " I know, but cuddling at home sounds just as good" I said, wrapping my arm in his. "Are you sure?" "Im sure!" I said, with a sleepy smile. "Ok! Lets go home! That sounds perfect!" He seemed so relieved! So we got home, sat in the parking lot a little while and...uh.. talked :) Then went up to our apt.

Mandy seemed surprised to see us "so early" It was a little after 10:00, LOL. But we are used to being up at 4:45am so was late for us. Anyway, we all drank a cup of coffee and sat around and talked and laughed and then we went to bed. The perfect end to a perfect evening! Didi slept the whole time so our first date night out was a success!

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Tummy Time!

Ok, I just have to say that I am so proud of my little Diedle Di! She was on her back, turned to her belly and is trying so hard to crawl! BTW, she just turned 5 mo. old. Go Didi, you'll get it!

Our Daily Walk

Well, almost daily anyway! So, today after a early lunch Diana and I went for one of our walks. It was the perfect day! She was in good mood (almost!) the whole time or drifted off to sleep, she loves the gentle bump of the stroller as we walk down the sidewalk

We read a few books at a park right on the lake front (never to early to start the love of reading!)
Although I'm pretty sure she was more interested in how the book tasted. :)

While walking we met a very nice man by the name of Frederick Westphal, who plans on running for governor in the upcoming election. He had some pretty good ideas about getting rid of sales tax here in Wisconsin and giving all teachers a %10 raise. We will be looking forward to hearing more as information becomes available.

Although it was the perfect walk poor Didi was getting pretty tired of all the photo ops that I tried to capture, as you can tell here. :) But she is just so darn cute! What can I say?

So it was great day and the perfect walk, but now it is time to start making dinner and brew some iced tea before hubby gets home!

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Beans, Beans, Beans!

NOOO!!!!!!!! NOT GREEN BEANS!!!!!!!!!! Well, the solid food adventure continues as we test out the green beans, a most definite dislike! She has liked just about everything that we have fed her, but the veggies I guess will have to be an acquired taste.

The fact that she hates the veggies I must admit I believe to be dear hubby's fault. In his eagerness to introduce her to new things (and watch that cute little face of hers) he has been giving her little tastes of food since she was about 5 weeks old. Not anything big, he will just dip the very tip of his finger and put a very small drop of anything sweet on her tongue. Just enough to make her crave the sweet stuff! At first I didn't mind this, in fact I thought it was kind of cute the way he would share with her. But after the time he put some Monster energy drink in her bottle before bedtime, enough was enough! Like I said though, she has her sweet tooth! (or should that be "sweet gum")

Well, be it veggies, fruits, or rice cereal; the solid food phase has been a fun one so far. Except the diaper changing part of it all. I mean, good Lord how can one baby stink so bad? Hubby changed just one of those and has flat out refused to change another. I did too. JK! I don't have that option :)Well, all for now! Time to try to get some rest before the start of another day!

Friday, September 4, 2009

Diana Marie is 4 months old!

Yes, this is my perfect baby girl! I have to be the worst blogger ever, updating only once every couple of months! :) Well, I have decided to keep up better so I can chronicle little Didi's growth better and remember all the little things that happen along the way! Plus, I take so many pics that I can just upload them onto here until I am ready to try scrapbooking!

Also, to anyone who reads my blog (both of you:) or was wondering, being a new mom is great! I have to be one of the few women in the world who find being a new mom easier than being pregnant! That is probably due to the fact that hubby and I have the most perfect baby ever! She is so cute and has been sleeping through the night since 8 weeks old So from now on i will keep updating this blog!