Wowzie! I'm 25 today! That's a quarter of a century! Somehow that just sounds so old. :) But, I think 25 is just the perfect age. For right now at least. Which is good, because that is my age right now ;)
I remember turning 14 and thinking I was just so mature and knew it all. Yes friends... at 14. HA! I was "so mature for my age..." lol. Not that I was too full of myself or anything, I just remember seeing myself as an adult, helping take care of household duties, getting up early (some days, anyway) and speaking with authority over all three of my younger siblings. Of course, I had been practicing for years speaking with authority to my younger brother and sisters, as I'm sure they could tell you. ;) I wore ankle length skirts and read many books. I cooked and baked and told people what to do. Generally, I did mature grown up things. At 14, I knew it all!
Then came 16. That age changed me! All of the sudden I had a fair amount of girl friends and got my first real taste of peer pressure. I don't know if peer pressure is the the word.. but suddenly I became very aware of how my clothes looked and that I was one of the only girls who didn't wear make up. I didn't realize girls "our age" went on diets and could be so consumed with our future and who our future husbands could be. I made some very dear and best friends, memories that will always be precious to me. I also experienced how mean girls can be. Although I went through a few unpleasant experiences, 16 was a very sweet, carefree and happy time.
19 was a big one! I had a car, I worked full time, went to college full time, was on the dance team and was involved in numerous school and local political
activities. Those years went by in a blur (whether it's due to the insane amounts of coffee or the extreme lack of sleep, I'm really not quite sure) But I was on top of the world!!! In the beginning anyway. I soon realized, even though I was told this before, it's impossible to do a million things at a time and think you will succeed at it all. While trying to "do it all" my quite alone time with God fell to the wayside and my life quickly became overwhelming. I learned that no matter how busy you are (or how busy you think you are) God must always 100% come first. You need that time alone with Christ because if you're not right with Him, nothing is right.19 was a big one on learning about having priorities.
21 was such a sweet, beautiful and precious time in my life! With a very much renewed relationship with my Lord and Savior, life was just as perfect as it could possibly be! And what did God do then? He brought my dear sweet Daniel into my life! To say we had a whirlwind romance would be an understatement. :) Within months of knowing each other and through much prayer and counsel from our parents, we became engaged and married just a few short months later.
Those first weeks and months of married life have been some of the sweetest and happiest in my life! Everything is so new and fresh, everyday with your bestest friend. There were many weekends of being in bed all day snuggled in the blankies, walking on trails through the woods together, romantic dinners at restaurants, late night drives with the music turned on and the top of the Jeep. Ah! Sweet bliss :) I also became pregnant with our first baby and that brought so much hope and excitement for us!
23. Hhmm... I'll call this phase disenchantment. lol :) We were on a shoestring budget and barley getting by. I was learning to juggle bills and balance budgets. By God's grace we have always had a roof over our heads and food in our bellies, but some days you just didn't know how you were going to get by. I was also at home 24/7 with 2 babies under 2. Hubby started taking on many more jobs and responsibilities at work and started working more hours and I was lonely at home. Very lonely. He also had the only working vehicle at this point so I was home all day every day alone with my babies. When Hubby came home, he would often be in bed just 2-3 hours after walking through the door.
Although in theory I was ready for challenges, life wasn't exactly what I had imagined it would be and I didn't feel like the wife or mom I had thought I would become. Being a mom to two babies was more exhausting, lonely and repetitive than I ever thought it could be. Not to say that there weren't many happy days, because there were! But being a mom felt like it took the best out of me. By the time hubby got home in the evenings and on weekends, I was a very grumpy, whiny and a very quick to get angry wife. I realized I had let my time with Christ slip again because I was simply to busy and didn't have the time... Soon I was running back daily to the throne of Grace, because on my own, I just wasn't making it.
Today starts age 25....
Now here I am, 25! I have spent the past year in (almost) daily quite alone time with God and am more grounded than ever. Through God's grace I have learned a lot of lessons, re learned some lessons and I know I have much more to learn! I know who I am in Christ Jesus and not ashamed of who I am or who He is forming me to be.
I have dealt with enough "identity crisises" and I know that there is not one thing that defines me. It is Christ Jesus who lives in me and works through me that defines what I do in this life and who "I" am. It is also all the hopes, dreams and experiences that are in my heart and on my mind. There are seasons in life and whether you are going through sun or rain, you better not define who you are based on your life at the moment, because you will forever be "looking for yourself" and not finding any thing substantial. The only thing substantial and
unmoving in this life is God, so you're best off just sticking close to Him and enjoying EVERYTHING along the way. :)
EVEYONE at one point or another will disappoint and fail you, best friends will come and go, and plans may fail but God is my rock and HE LOVES ME! and that's all that matters. :)
At 25, I feel free! Free to enjoy this beautiful life with my family and not care what people think!
My husband and I have our convictions and our beliefs may be different from other's and that's ok. I don't feel the need anymore (or as much ;) to justify our decisions or our convictions. I'm happy to talk about anything! But I don't have to apologize about anything.
I have had enough friends come and go over the years where I don't feel the need to make people like me or be overly concerned with what my friends or other people think. My family always come first, but aside from that I'll always try to be the best friend I can be, and that's that! If you want to be friends, awesome! If not, that's ok too!
I don't care what people think about my clothes anymore. I really don't. I have a pretty sparkly dress that I just love and never wear it because there is never "the right event" Well, oh well! I like the dress and I'm going to wear it because it's pretty, sparkly, it makes me happy! (Also, long story short, it was $75.00 and I couldn't get it and I was talking to God in a prayer and told Him how much I would like it, and wouldn't you know it, God made it possible for me. Just about one week later "on a whim" I went into the shop where it was sold and wouldn't you know it, there was one left, in my size for $12 :)
I'm thankful that God lives in my heart, for my wonderful husband, my beautiful children and all the countless other blessings God so graciously has blessed my family and I with.
I look with joy and excitement towards this next year! It's one day at a time and trusting God for everything. All else is just details that can be sorted along the way :)