Almost exactly a year ago today I was spending about an hour almost every morning with special prayer time. It would consist of bible reading/prayer/devotional reading and some journaling. I had about and 1 1/2 - 2hours every morning before the girls would wake up and that hour for me was essential.
Lately though, in these past months, the girls have been getting up much earlier. Sometimes they wake up with hubby and I and other times I might only have 45 minutes or maybe even an hour before they are up. So not only are my chances of getting some quite time before the kids get up slim, let me tell you, I am TIRED. Really TIRED. I eat right, exercise, get almost 8 hours of sleep, but let me tell you there is no cure for being a mom. I feel as if my feet hit the ground running in the morning and I keep it up all day, trying to keep our home clean and running around playing with two toddlers all day. Then in the evening, as everyone is winding down, I'm still busily whisking around the house getting kids ready for bed and finishing all those last little things that accumulate for the end of the day.
So, as soon as hubby leaves in the morning, I will read maybe a verse, sometimes a single verse, sigh a breathless prayer to God and fall asleep within seconds. I feel myself fall over on the couch and just hope God understands how exhausted I am. I usually am woken up 30 minutes later around 6:00 with kids jumping on me.
Today, after hubby left, I sat down with my bible. I already felt defeated and somewhat rushed because I know the girls could wake up any moment. and said to God "Ok Lord, I'm going to try to come to that place today. That place where I am completely enveloped in Your presence and can hear Your voice. Help me to not fall asleep and teach me more about who You are."
My bible is a devotional bible, so peppered in between the pages are little devotions and poems. I opened my bible at random and my eyes fell on this poem:
Once I worked at whipping up a feeling I could
call "worship." No more. I have lived
consciously in His presence long enough to know
Him, to recognize His pressure on my heart and
mind. We've been together long enough so that
fixing supper, changing the ribbon in my
typewriter, and riding a bike around my shell
road have become almost sacramental. This
does not indicate my "holiness." It indicates
His - His holiness and His drawing power for my
heart or for yours
----- Eugenia Price
Wow! I felt as if God was speaking to me directly and that this poem was written just for me. All of the sudden all these "mini memories" of God speaking to me throughout all of my busy days these past few weeks just came back at once. Like all the different people He has laid on my heart to pray for.
When I'm building block towers or sweeping, He has put so many different people on my heart and I just pray for them. I don't always know what to pray for, but I pray for them. This is worship.
While listening to music while chasing the kids around the house a line of music touches my heart so deep I can't help but to feel Him there. I say a quick prayer of thanks for the ability to serve such a Mighty God. This is worship.
I'm tired and just want to spend 15 minutes on the computer, but instead I listen to my girls and spend 15 minutes tenderly and joyfully reading them a story. I pray for God's help to be the mother He desires for them. This is worship.
Although not all at once, all these things work together for the glory of God and in turn worship Him. I can't define "worship" or "holiness" by my terms, I can only go by what He says in the Bible and offer my self as a living sacrifice.
Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's
mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and
pleasing to God - this is your spiritual act of worship.
Only by being led by the Holy Spirit can I following God's will and worship Him. A year ago that was spending an hour in the mornings with Christ. Since then, I have entered a new season in life and now God makes sure to clearly and precisely speak to me throughout the day. Of course, I do try to set aside even 2 minutes in the morning to dedicate my day to Him, but sometimes 2 minutes is all I have. I know that's ok now.
My two toddlers are up now! Have a wonderful day and know that even if you don't always feel near to God, He is near to you. :)